Tuesday, October 9, 2007


church sign
In case you can't read what this says, here it is:

Animal Blessings
Sunday, October 14
On the lawn
Bring your pets
All are welcome

I wonder if the animals need to be blessed before Halloween? I can't come up with anything else. Can people bring snakes? What would the priest do if someone showed up with a deadly viper? I am completely against snake blessing. I hate snakes.

No, I'm not bringing Jethro. Yes, I am going to drive by and take pictures.



RainyBow note: I'll come by with a random assortment of pets and pick you up. I wonder if my neighbour would lend me his parrot that has an obsession with the phrase "up yours."


RainyBow update: He won't.


Complaint Department Manager said...

I wanna see them try to baptize a bobcat.

Jon said...

I wonder how far they'd let you stretch the definition of "pets". I suggest bringing a person on a leash, dressed head to toe in leather and walking on all fours. The bobcat is a good idea, too. I would also suggest a petri dish full of rare bacteria, an invisible unicorn, your Nintendog or whatever they call those things, and your favorite teddy bear.

Anonymous said...

I see from the sign that it's an Anglican church offering the blessings. First I've heard of a Protestant church doing animal blessings, I've only heard of the Catholics doing it, in honor of St. Francis.

Dunno if they'd bless a snake or not. Wouldn't that be forgiveness for the whole Garden of Eden, banishment from Paradise thing?

complain away said...

What do you think about tricking these people into considering my eyes to be pets? I'm thinking maybe I can get them blessed, and then when I get to hell and rip them out (see previous post about needgod.com), maybe at least they'll make their way to Heaven. Then I could rest easy, knowing that some part of me would make it closer to God.
But then again, they've contributed to the lustful thoughts, so this idea might not work so well for me....

Anonymous said...

It is common practice for Anglican churches to hold a "Blessing of the Animals" in honour of St Francis of Assisi and his belief that all creatures created by God have purpose, and their purpose is to love and glorify God. It is usually done on or near the Feast of St Francis, which is annually on October 4. St James Cathedral always holds their blessing on the Saturday closest to Oct 4, so this year it was on Sept 29. According to their newsletter, among their animal guests in the last two years they welcomed a camel, a dwarf goat and an eagle....