make the noise stop

This weekend, Rainy and I attended both a book reading and a play. We're geeks. We admit it.

The reading event had five award-winning authors, who are up for a national prize, reading passages from their nominated books. We arrived fairly early and were close to the front of the line. This was good planning as the line up behind us was quite long and snaked around several times. As you would expect, the age of crowd at this event was skewed older - 50s, 60s. This would lead you to conclude that the people were orderly and polite when the doors opened and it was time to find a seat. You would be wrong. We practically got stampeded to death by seniors trying to decide between this seat and that seat. It was a little crazy. We settled into our seats and watched the scene around us - lady wearing a carpet blouse, girl with long red hair tied back with three or four scrunchies of different colours and a head band of yet another colour and crazy nike shoes with holes in the soles, author with thinning hair combed in an odd manner, people fighting for seats. Good times. People watching is always enjoyable.

Then, the noise started. The guy directly behind us decided he needed to tap out a tune on the book he was holding. This was not soft, barely audible tapping, this was LOUD, thundering tapping. It was so loud and annoying, I could hear it over the seat mayhem and loud overhead music. I was hoping he'd tap for only a few seconds and then stop. Nope. The tapping went on and on. Mercifully, it stopped when his friends showed up or the event started....can't remember which.

Then came the intermission. This time, the instrument of choice was an empty water bottle. I thought the book tapping was annoying but the bottle tapping was worse. I was starting to feel homicidal. He must have heard us complaining about it and moved down the row to annoy other people.

As annoying as that was, at least he didn't make noise during the actual event. This brings me to the play this afternoon. We saw a fantastic play that was enhanced by the running commentary of the two teenagers behind us. When they weren't laughing, they were talking or shouting out. At the beginning of the play, the woman beside me shushed them. It didn't work. I resigned myself to the noise cause there's no talking to teenagers. You might as well talk to a brick wall.

Of course, they weren't the only ones enhancing the experience. The woman behind us started eating a chocolate bar - or some sort of food in a noisy package - right when the second act began. She could have eaten it during the 15 minute intermission but she decided to save it for the action. She put it away for a while and then brought it back out during the climax of the play.

I think I need to be a royal or Bill Gates or someone who can go to private readings/screenings/openings etc. I bet they don't have to put up with the noise of the riff raff.

SunnyShine

common c-o-u-r-t-e-s-y

I live on a fairly quiet street in a residential neighbourhood. There are young families, retirees, single women (me), lesbian & gay couples and it's the kind of street where people take pride in their homes and say hi to their neighbours.

You'd think it was pleasantville, however - and there's always a however - across the street are the noisiest and rudest bunch of teenagers in existence. How many of them actually live in the house is a mystery cause there are always so many around that it's hard to tell. This pack is being raised by a single mother who doesn't seem to notice or care about what they do or when they do it.

I would guesstimate that the teenagers are 13-16. None of them seem to drive but their friends sure do. They show up after midnight hanging out of windows and with music blasting. Also, I have noticed that these teenagers cannot communicate without screaming at the top of their lungs.

I cannot tell you how many nights I have been woken up by them. They come home at all hours of the night and never quietly. I have twice seen them peeing on the street - both boys AND girls. Who is raising them? Peeing on the street???

They also enjoy skateboarding and basketball dribbling at 2am. I now cannot hear a skateboard without feeling homicidal. Like I said, their mother doesn't seem to care.

Times sure have changed. Had I come home at 2am when I was their age, I can guarantee I wouldn't have seen the clock move past 9pm for years. Also, where are they going or coming from at that time? Are there clubs for 15 year olds? Are they spreading their joy at another house with equally tolerant parents?

Has anyone ever heard of common courtesy? I am still deciding what my next move will be next time they wake me. Here are the things I have come up with:

1. video tape and take pictures - esp useful and embarrassing if they are peeing
2. come outside with the Dog and ask them to wake their mother so I can speak to her
3. ring their doorbell incessantly at 5:30am when I wake up so they can see how it feels
   
4. call the police and let them handle it
5. speak to the mother separately (she won't care, believe me)

I think I may take pics or video anyway but I'll keep you posted as to what else happens. I am turning into a curmudgeon.

SunnyShine