all you need is... makeup

Forget spending tonnes of money on therapy and searching the world for your true self. Just get makeup!

Thankfully I found this sign today and am turning over a new leaf.

However, since every makeup brand will tell you to remove their product before going to bed, I do have to ask: do you wake up as something less than yourself? Or perhaps you wake up as someone else?

RainyBow


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SunnyShine note: Isn't the goal to wake up with someone else?

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RainyBow note: Hmmm... yes, but then what happens when that someone else wakes up next to you but you look totally different? Am puzzled. Need a girly girl to explain.

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SunnyShine note: There are two possibilities. 1) He is gone by the time you wake up so doesn't have to find out. 2) He doesn't care because he has already gotten the proverbial milk. Why buy the cow....

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RainyBow note: Hey, don't you have a friend who does absolutely everything in makeup? I seem to recall from the hot yoga discussion. Do you think her skin, under all that, still resembles skin?

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SunnyShine note: I have no idea because I've never seen it. She even lived with a guy and he never saw her without makeup; I don't think anyone has. I'm not sure if she gets up to reapply in the middle of the night or what. I can tell you that she stopped by my house full of sweat after 3 classes at the gym, and even then, she had a face full of makeup on.
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RainyBow note: Methinks she should win an award for that. It's freakishly impressive. I got made up for a wedding once (yes, the one where the make up artist actually drew in an upper lip) and I swear the gunk was all gone within the hour. Maybe one's skin must be trained-?

"ever notice how it's always runners who find dead bodies?"

Years ago, another runner asked me what my 5K PB (Personal Best) was. I had no idea. I ran cross-country races for years and PBs have no place in the sport.

Cross-country is essentially trail running, and, unlike track or road running, the routes take runners through forests, up and down hills and even across water. The dissimilarity of route distances and conditions combined with unpredictable weather and underfoot conditions make it impossible to compare times, and international meets don't even record times. (Btw, this may be one of the reasons why it was ditched as an Olympic sport. I still can't believe though that table-tennis IS an Olympic sport and that tug-of-war is a "recognized" sport while cross-country is nothing, but I need to let that go.)

When I explained that PBs didn't factor into my life, aforementioned runner said something about me being "one of those joggers." Long accustomed to the disdain of track and long-distance runners, I decided not to be offended.

Well, now I am offended by another definition of runner (vs. jogger), this one by Pearl Izumi. Check out the ads they ran in Runner's World, below.
































Here are the two most offensive parts:

Joggers mostly stick to gentrified stretches of pedestrian walkways.... Runners, on the other hand, cut through dumpster-laden back alleys or disappear into remote wooden areas.... [E]very forensic program on TV begins with a runner stumbling across some wayward soul who climbed into the wrong panel van. In fact, if it weren't for runners, you wonder how many of these crimes would ever get solved. Better lace 'em up. Because someone, somewhere is missing. So do your civic duty. Run like an animal.


.... And, with all the jogging going on out there, runners are losing the soul of their sport. A sport that started with our ancestors running down dinner and remains to this day predatory at its core. Joggers are prey. Runners are hunters....

OK, so I know Pearl Izumi is trying to be all provocative, to get a bunch of egotistical men to believe they belong to an elite group so that they'll buy Izumi shoes. I say "men" because I have a hard time believing most women would buy into this, but I'm probably wrong. The thing is that it has crossed my mind more than once that trail running alone may not always be safe and that's not something I really want to think about. Don't even get me started on the panel van reference. And referring to anyone as "prey" is pretty messed up.

I have been mulling over whether to send a complaint letter to the company (I do love my complaint letters), but I think I would just get dismissed as a "jogger." Sales speak louder than words and after this, I won't ever buy their shoes again.

RainyBow

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SunnyShine note: It's either runners or people walking their dogs. I have been paranoid that one of my dogs would find a body or body part after they found a little girl along one of the routes I used to take early in the morning. The ad is offensive but that seems to sell things these days.

i wish i were poor so i could do these fun things

A friend got me watching Guinness’ new tv commercial, its most expensive yet. It reminds me a lot of the Honda Cog tv from a few years back.

In case you’re too lazy to watch it (it is like a minute 30 seconds, after all), an entire village of people who don’t look like they have much money spend a whole lotta time on a beer shenanigan.

I’ve sat on this for a few days and it still feels a bit offensive to me. Perhaps I’m being a tad too sensitive, or maybe Guinness just sucks.

RainyBow

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SunnyShine note: Yes, it does feel a bit offensive. Maybe (I'm really hoping here) the beer company provided clean water or electricity or food or some other basic necessity or aid that will help change their lives in a positive way.

our company rules just because we're online

Why is it that companies think the standard is lower for advertising online? It's like they think the idea of putting something on the web is just so cool in itself that they don't need to worry about whether it's any good.

My latest example is Volvo's launch of the C30. They created a whole world on MSN.com that's so shoddy it actually pains me to post the link. Mr. Robinson's Driving School currently consists of 10 episodes in a series about a driving school instructor, his day-to-day life and his rivals. I don't begrudge Volvo the idea--it's cool to create a microsite where people can come back and watch new episodes in a series--but it's so poorly done I want to call up some hacker friends and take the whole thing down.

The plot is ridiculous, the acting is shoddy, the direction is painful, and the production value is so low I have a hard time believing professionals put it together. And the interactive section (take your own driving lesson) consists of one of the lamest simulation exercises everywhere. The first course I drove included an animated chicken holding a sign as one of the distractions. Gee, that's funny.

There are credits at the end, which makes me believe that Volvo may have gotten the whole thing at a cut rate. A word to the people at Volvo: it's better to do nothing at all than to subject people to this drivel.

Perhaps it's time for another complaint letter.

RainyBow

"i had to have it"

Has anyone else seen the craptastic new ad for Sarah Jessica Parker's new fragrance, Covet? I saw the trailer on the big screen at the movies tonight (yes, another movie; I know I have a problem) and I don't know if it gets much worse. Parker is in Paris, wearing a big white dress, black gloves, red shoes, and some horrific raccoon make-up. She sees a bottle--yes, a bottle--in a window that she just can't resist--which, naturally, happens to me all the time--and kicks in the window to get it. Thankfully, the police save the helpless bottle by dragging Parker away, and she begs the officer, in ridiculously bad, breathless French, "can I have a little spritz?" Then she's suddenly looking pitiful from behind bars (that's also the print, I think).

The whole movie theatre erupted into laughter. Not the good kind.

All of this leads me to ask: after a whack of Golden Globes, Screen Actors Guild awards and Emmys, a previous (successful) fragrance, a long list of movies, the title of UNICEF Goodwill Ambassador, and a lot of Best Dressed titles under her belt, does Parker really need to do crap like this? My misguided purchase last year of bright red corduroy pants seems like a much smaller bad decision now.....


RainyBow