Thursday, October 18, 2007

can i have more needles, please?

I developed these crazy allergies this year and, after having no luck with traditional doctors, yesterday I got acupuncture for the first time. I hadn’t taken my meds that morning and when the needles went in, my eyes started hyper watering and my arms experienced a crazy increased circulation thing. When my guy came back in the room after leaving me with the needles I think he was a bit worried I’d been bawling.

So it may have worked. But I’m still bitter.

The problem with the acupuncture I got is that it didn’t really go the way I wanted. My only exposure before this was through TV. Remember the episode of Cheers where Frasier has several hundred needles sticking out of his body? Or perhaps the episode of Sex and the City where Charlotte is lying in a noisy room with needles popping out of everywhere?

Well, I wanted the excitement of becoming a pin cushion. Instead I got only 18 needles: 3 in each leg, 3 in each arm, and 6 on my face. Apparently those are the only spots you need to hit to help with allergies. I feel ripped off.

Next time I’m going to demand more. Maybe I should invent some new ailment so that I can up the number of needles legitimately. I don’t know what bursitis is but I can pronounce it and I bet it'll take more than 18 needles to cure.