Tuesday, August 28, 2007

the rules of engagement

The other morning, I went to the bank machine (translation: ATM) to take out some cash to pay the %#@$# trainer. Oddly (it was Sunday @ 7am), there was a guy there already using it so I had to wait. He finished his transaction and then stood there blocking the machine so he could read his receipt. I'm waiting. Still reading. I'm waiting. Finally, I opened the door and gave him a look and he grudgingly started to move. You're done? MOVE.

He is obviously not versed in the SunnyShine rules of bank machine etiquette. I'll enlighten you in case you see me waiting behind you.

  1. The second you're finished, move. Don't linger to fiddle with your wallet. Don't read your receipt. You should know how much money is there in the first place. It shouldn't be a surprise.
  2. Don't update your passbook if you haven't updated it for the better part of ever. I don't have 30 minutes to wait for each one of your 1000 transactions to be printed in a little book. Get a statement. Better yet, use online banking so you can see all of your transactions whenever you want. You can even print them in the privacy of your own home and no one will have to wait.
  3. Getting your 2 year old to press the buttons is not cute. He/She can neither count nor read and taking 15 minutes to withdraw $20 is unacceptable. There are people waiting. Just do it yourself and move on. I don't care if there is whining and complaining. You are the parent, grow a pair and put your foot down. Also, if there is whining and complaining, you had better get that transaction done even faster cause I'm not interested in hearing your brat cry.
  4. If you are depositing cheques, add them up, enter the total, and put them in the same envelope. Do not make 58 separate transactions. We're waiting.
  5. Ditto for paying your bills. As a matter of fact, pay your bills online or over the phone. There is no need for you to take up time at a bank machine for this.
  6. Don't eat, drink, talk on the phone, juggle, or do anything else that will distract you or slow you down from the task at hand.
  7. If the machine tells you there are insufficient funds one time, you can assume it will tell you that EVERY time. There is no need to try the exact same withdrawal over and over again. Money is not going to magically appear in your account if it wasn't there a minute ago.
Your cooperation is appreciated.


RainyBow note: Ah yes, the ATM experience. Does it ever suck. The one I frequent most (near my house) is in the vestibule of a bank. It's also frequented by a delightful security guard. A few months back this guard was a guy who danced around while listening to his MP3 player so loudly that I couldn't even hear myself think while withdrawing cash (what? I asked for $1,000 in cash??!). Not surprisingly, I wrote a complaint letter. A few days after I sent it, he was replaced by an equally delightful woman. She reads books quite intently with her shoes off. Let me tell you, I feel oh so safe knowing that if an incident should occur at the ATM, she'll only have to mark her page, put down the book, put her shoes back on and tie them up. Then she'll whip into hot pursuit of the perpetrator. Oh yeah.

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