Wednesday, November 14, 2007

i didn't need muscles anyway

I've been an ectomorph all of my life. The fact that I log so much mileage each week in my running shoes doesn't help. While my friends can go to the gym twice and suddenly have monstrous biceps, I can hit the weights religiously for years and nobody will believe I ever lifted 5 pounds. But I still weight-train because I remember when I was running cross-country races years ago and felt no need to hit a gym. Any guy who saw me naked was frightened of snapping me in half, which didn't exactly do wonders for the love life.

Well, my gym just decided to remove all of the free weights and weight machines in order to conduct noise testing. Apparently they will be gone for 30 days. I have no idea why a gym that's been operational for 14 years would require such extensive noise testing, but this is what I've been told.

I don't really want to see my body after 30 days of no weight training and massive muscle atrophy, and I don't think anyone else should have to see it either. After I write this, I'll be calling around to try to borrow a set of weights. Crappy gym.



Complaint Department Manager said...

I wonder if they're testing how loud the "grunt" factor is in the joint? You know, the grunts people make while working out? Have you heard about this crap in gyms here in the lower quad?

Emory said...

Double oh noes!

RainyBow is gonna be mistaken for Olive Oyle in the Christmas photo's.

complain away said...

CDM, I'm convinced the grunt factor is actually proportionate to the number of single, narcissistic men in the gym.

More than a few times some beefy guy at the gym has asked me to spot him when he's trying to lift something almost equivalent to my entire body weight. Whatevs.