Tuesday, January 22, 2008

brain and artery death

OK, I have to give full disclosure before continuing this post. Here's what you need to know:

1. I hate despise television. I see very little merit in anything that's aired on the beast, except as a mindless diversion when you're ill. I'll admit to watching a few well-written shows on DVD: Arrested Development and Entourage come to mind. I know people who organize their entire schedule around the boob tube (including my sister, who will record one show while watching another), and it frightens me to no end. No wonder America is hurtling into recession. Read a book. Have a real conversation. Try something new. Take a walk. Seriously.

2. I hate TV celebrities, especially talk show hosts like Oprah and Rachel Ray. My friends are infinitely more interesting and they're not half as self-centred.

3. I've been a vegetarian for over 15 years. I occasionally eat seafood because I find it impossible not to in my world, but I do my best to avoid eggs and dairy. I've probably inadvertently eaten bits of meat or meat broth in something over the past 15 years, but I can't imagine really eating meat again.

Now that you've got the full facts, let's go onto the real post...

I haven't been feeling well over the last couple of days. Yesterday morning, lying on my couch, I decided to try crapola TV as a distraction from the pain of my throbbing head. I stumbled on Rachel Ray, who was talking about art. It was better than the other crap I had just flipped over, and, out of sheer laziness, I didn't change the channel.

After a commercial break, Rachel Ray came back with a cooking portion of the show. The big dish of the day was chili cheese fries. I've never had anything like it, but the dish seemed to be comprised of three layers:
- homemade fries
- chopped turkey (but I can't tell the difference between different meats so it may have been something else)
- a mixture of cheddar cheese, chicken stock, milk, and beer

She kept going on and on about how this was a great meal on its own and how much her husband loves it. She plated it and oohed and aahed over it, and the audience sure clapped a lot. I was thankful that I didn't have to watch anyone actually take a bite. I was already feeling more than a bit nauseous.

Do people really eat like this? And if this is a full meal, is it suddenly OK to replace fruits and vegetables with saturated fats? While watching this, I just kept thinking about how much money you'd have to give me so that I'd take even a bite of these chili cheese fries. I don't think I landed on an actual number, but it was a lot.




I'm hurt. (not). =)

Kathy said...

I'm not sure people actually do eat food like Rachel Ray cooks. The few times I've watched her show and tried cooking from the recipe, it was TERRIBLE or at least not even worth the time and effort it took to make it. So I'm off Rachel Ray. Likewise Paula Dean.

I'm not a vegetarian, but even those of us who will eat just about anything have SOME taste.

complain away said...

Sniderman, I don't believe for a second that you and your social circle would touch a chili cheese fry. Isn't the average age of the birding crowd about 85 and the average weight under 100 pounds? ;)

And I'm not even sure who Paula Dean is, but I'll know to stay far away (thanks for the tip!).

Complaint Department Manager said...

I guess you've never heard of Paula Dean(mentioned earlier)? I get a cholesterol count of 285 just watching her from time to time, and mind you, I'm just flipping through.