Tuesday, June 10, 2008

my parents will drive me to drink

I visited my parents this weekend. You know, my parents the compulsive alarmists. Now, I must state for the record that they are fabulous people and that I love them. However, sometimes they make me want to scream loudly, into a pillow, for several minutes at time.

Although my parents are complete alarmists when it comes to me and my life, they seem to enjoy rolling the dice when it comes to their own well-being and safety. I think I've complained before about how they have a shack in the bush at which they pass much time in the summers, and they refuse to get a phone. Not just a landline, they also refuse to get a cell phone. They tell me that if anything happens, they can always go to the house next door. Getting to that house actually requires sturdy shoes and I swear there are cobwebs in their front door. Of course, the distance and absence of signs of life does not bother my parents one bit.

Here is the latest conversation that made me want to poke my ears out:

Me: Hey, mom, what do you have on your nose?

Mother: Oh, no big deal. I had a pre-cancerous spot on my nose that the dermatologist had to burn off.

Me: Pre-cancerous? What?

Mother: Oh yeah, you know when your father and I were away we spent a lot of time in the sun. I thought since I've never burned in my life that it would be OK to not wear sunscreen. But then this happened.

Me: You were out in the sun all the time and you didn't put any sunscreen on, even on your face?

Mother: I don't know what you're getting so upset about.

Me: Pre-cancerous, mom. C-A-N-C-E-R.

Aaaaaaah.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I do enjoy when people have one set of rules for themselves and another for everyone else in the world. Usually their rules have to do with manners or achievement, but in your case it seems to have to do with safety. It's unusual (I guess it would only happen with family) and I have no good advice. Good luck.

Whiner Girl said...

I can relate. My mother is always spouting off unsolicited advice about how I should live my life, then she turns around and does the opposite. There's a reason animals leave home at adulthood and don't return ... we, as a species, are too stupid to do the same.

complain away said...

WG, I'm always very suspicious of people who tell me they talk to their parents every day. All I can think to say is "good god, why?" Inhuman.