Thursday, July 10, 2008


aaaaah. I love them. I always welcome them. But what's with the ones that come from a foreign country to visit for the first time, speak perfect English, and can't handle getting around and seeing stuff on their own? I live in a city full of great tourist attractions, many of which I can recommend and point out on a map. I don't get weeks and weeks of endless vacation, so I always tell people that they're welcome to stay and find stuff on their own, and that I'll join when I can. They always sound so excited, but then inevitably they get here, and they sit around and do nothing unless I take them places.

The evil part of me wants to invite myself over to their homes and do the same in return but I just can't bring myself to do it. Do I need to put up a rules board like all the hotels do?

Speaking of hotel rules boards, here's one I enjoyed immensely. Check out the red type. Thankfully, I at least don't have that problem.

strickly no prostitutes


Jon said...

That sounds like my mother-in-law! She was just here recently with her boyfriend. I think they spent 100% of the time that we weren't escorting them around the city sitting in bed and breakfast wondering why there wasn't a tv.

Anonymous said...

OMG. I woke up to find my current houseguest, sitting in my living room, doing nothing and waiting for me to wake up. So I logged on to my computer and googled "bad houseguest" and here I am.

We are kindred spirits today. I wish I had words of wisdom for either you or me. Good luck.

Mayne said...

Just be glad you don't live in Cornflower, Iowa or something. Although you could just sit them on a porch and hand them a fly swatter.

House guests; now let me see. Over the years we have had Russian surgeons from Kiev, Methodist minister from Ghana, teenagers from Peru, and Korea, and the ever welcome family 'bandits' that drop in from Oz on their way to Auld Sod.

Not one of these would I allow out by themeselves, much less drive.

Admittedly you do have a point though. I mean how many times can you visit your favorite places, before they are no longer your favorite places.

My Brother swings by fairly regulary from the UK. His work takes him to everyplace on the Orb (save for India for some reason) and we always have a great time - no matter what we do, if anything.

Rainy, I will be up in a couple weeks for a couple of weeks.... please forward OUR itinerary.

Oh, and its one lump not two, and I take my toast slightly burned on one side. No need to bring it to the bed, I will be happy to take it in the kitchen around 7:30am sharp.


complain away said...

Ok, Emory. Guess what? Our itinerary involves lots of you coming to work with me and filing all of that paper that's been piling up on my desk while I've been going nuts at work over the last couple of weeks. Sound good?

(BTW, it's been so crazy. I have been very neglectful of this blog, which I hate.)

As you know, I've already got my trip to your current hometown planned, complete with Rum Runners, Solo handbell concerts, and the 6 acre corn maze. Somehow I don't think I'd have to force you to spend time with me - with an itinerary like that, how could you say no?!

Jon, lol. Yes, how DO people live without a tv? Don't people understand that its important to fill in every possible moment of downtime with some excitement on the tube? On vacation, especially!

Mayne said...

Hmm. Unfortunetly that very 'thin' itinery does not work for me. Nope, not at all does it work - for me.

Also, I will have someone 'flesh out' your equaly thin itinery, for your trip to Carolina.

You should expect to pack everything from a 'little black dress' to your most comfortable running shoes. Garments should be 100% Cotton, and please feel free to leave any long (sleave/pant) clothing in your closet - just not the haunted closet.

Weather - Balmy, with cool mornings, and chances for afternoon thunderstorms. Evenings - warm.

Please forward any prefered dietary wants, or needs...