make the noise stop

This weekend, Rainy and I attended both a book reading and a play. We're geeks. We admit it.

The reading event had five award-winning authors, who are up for a national prize, reading passages from their nominated books. We arrived fairly early and were close to the front of the line. This was good planning as the line up behind us was quite long and snaked around several times. As you would expect, the age of crowd at this event was skewed older - 50s, 60s. This would lead you to conclude that the people were orderly and polite when the doors opened and it was time to find a seat. You would be wrong. We practically got stampeded to death by seniors trying to decide between this seat and that seat. It was a little crazy. We settled into our seats and watched the scene around us - lady wearing a carpet blouse, girl with long red hair tied back with three or four scrunchies of different colours and a head band of yet another colour and crazy nike shoes with holes in the soles, author with thinning hair combed in an odd manner, people fighting for seats. Good times. People watching is always enjoyable.

Then, the noise started. The guy directly behind us decided he needed to tap out a tune on the book he was holding. This was not soft, barely audible tapping, this was LOUD, thundering tapping. It was so loud and annoying, I could hear it over the seat mayhem and loud overhead music. I was hoping he'd tap for only a few seconds and then stop. Nope. The tapping went on and on. Mercifully, it stopped when his friends showed up or the event started....can't remember which.

Then came the intermission. This time, the instrument of choice was an empty water bottle. I thought the book tapping was annoying but the bottle tapping was worse. I was starting to feel homicidal. He must have heard us complaining about it and moved down the row to annoy other people.

As annoying as that was, at least he didn't make noise during the actual event. This brings me to the play this afternoon. We saw a fantastic play that was enhanced by the running commentary of the two teenagers behind us. When they weren't laughing, they were talking or shouting out. At the beginning of the play, the woman beside me shushed them. It didn't work. I resigned myself to the noise cause there's no talking to teenagers. You might as well talk to a brick wall.

Of course, they weren't the only ones enhancing the experience. The woman behind us started eating a chocolate bar - or some sort of food in a noisy package - right when the second act began. She could have eaten it during the 15 minute intermission but she decided to save it for the action. She put it away for a while and then brought it back out during the climax of the play.

I think I need to be a royal or Bill Gates or someone who can go to private readings/screenings/openings etc. I bet they don't have to put up with the noise of the riff raff.

SunnyShine