it's hard to understand me because...

I told this story twice today, so why not a third time?

On a hiking trip to the Adirondacks a year and a half ago, I met a hottie from Manhattan. I have a weakness for athletes, and he was a surfer. He was also a pilot, and because he could fly in and out all the time, we ended up dating for a while. He'd fly in for a night, we'd go out and have a good time, then he'd fly out again.

(Btw, that's my idea of a fantastic relationship, but let's not get into psychoanalyzing that one today, OK?)

Because pilot boy and I always went out for an evening only, and because there was inevitably drinking involved, I don't think I ever really got to know him. He was fun. He was also pretty young. Looking back, I now think I may have overlooked a few of his not-so-bright sounding comments here and there, chalking them up to his tender age.

One night we were out and he asked me what I studied in school. I told him that coming out of high school, I had no idea what I wanted to do other than that I wanted to learn to speak French fluently (go figure). So I did my post-secondary work in French at a school with a bunch of French people. (BTW, my French was pretty darn rudimentary at the time so I look back and think wow, I had balls. But I failed my first two papers, then I got smart and found myself a French boyfriend. And eventually I learned because I had to.)

But back to my night with pilot boy. The conversation went in many other directions and we were talking about someone else, when he stopped me and asked that I repeat something (can't remember what, as it wasn't memorable). As I was about to repeat it, he said, "You know, I find it hard to understand you sometimes because..."

... and in my head, I jumped to the natural ending to this sentence, which is "... you talk so quickly." I talk very quickly. I get told that a lot. But instead, that night, I got...

"... you have that French accent and all."

French accent?! Good lord. My family isn't exactly white bread, and my first language isn't English, but it sure ain't French. And I just told this guy that I went away to learn French and that it was pretty darn hard, making it clear to any other living being with a brain who may have overheard me that I didn't already speak it.

There was no avoiding the fact now: pilot boy may have been hot and fun, but he just wasn't smart.

After the French accent incident, I couldn't see him without snickering. Yes, I'm a snob; I lost any respect I may have had for him because of one thing he said. I told him I couldn't see him anymore and gave him the run-around when he wanted to know why, because I just didn't want to tell him he was dumb.

I think the frightening lesson from all of this though was that this guy flies planes.