no bracelets, just pushed buttons

The Christ Church Unity people, otherwise known as the complaint-free people, have been pushing my buttons.

You see, I requested some complaint-free bracelets last spring. And I got all excited about them. Really, who wouldn't? It's not like any other charity sells plastic bracelets to raise awareness and funds.

Well, now it's 2008, and not only have no bracelets arrived, but now I get regular email updates from those people, rubbing it in. Seriously.

The emails are full of shiny, happy tales about people who have apparently been complaint-free for months. Can you imagine spending time with those people? I figure they're either seething with repressed anger and about to blow, or they're inexplicably accepting of mediocrity. Or maybe both. Either way, that's going to be one rousing round of drinks.

At any rate, the latest email update featured a super-happy person hawking the New Year/New You package. Seriously, why is she so happy? She's wearing a crapola tshirt (methinks someone over at Christ Church Unity thinks him or herself a pretty darn good graphic designer) and is holding the complaint-free book, which, although I haven't exactly sought out reviews, I'm willing to bet isn't exactly on the verge of a Nobel prize for literature. But better yet, check out the complaint-free world bumper sticker. Yup, she clearly thinks it's a good idea to put inflammatory statements on the bumper of your car, where nobody ever hits anybody.

I want my bracelets.