more races i will not be running

Running outside in the cold and snow sucks, as does running in the gym on a treadmill. I'm still looking for a race to take on so that I'll maintain some level of motivation through the winter. Here are a few I will not be running in 2008:

The Bare Buns Fun Run
Just look at the photos from this year. I'm not sure I need to say more. I swear this is where I would end up if I were relegated to hell.

The Big Man Run
OK, I'm really not clear on what exactly this one entails, but I'm getting the sense that this may not be for me. It seems that a bunch of large men run through city streets and stop a few times for beer and hotdogs enroute. I'm a lightweight vegetarian with a low tolerance for alcohol.

Olney Pancake Race
The pancake race dates back over 500 years and the description intrigues me: "Competitors must wear the traditional costume of a housewife, including a skirt, apron and head covering. They must of course carry a frying pan containing a pancake." Of course. According to the rules I'd have to move to Olney for three months before participating. Their town map is mysteriously "unavailable," which does not leave me with much hope that I would be able to amuse myself there.

Wife Carrying Championship Race
Wow. So in this one the male competitor carries the female competitor (who apparently does not have to be his legal wife) through a 278-yard course with obstacles to win the woman's weight in beer. Apparently, teams also have the option to have the male carried by the female if they so choose. Strangely, that's never happened before. I don't think the lightweight vegetarian should pave the route on this one.

Lots of freaky stuff and I didn't even look hard. There must be so much more out there.