i'm in hell

I am currently (right now as I type) on the phone helping a good friend of mine answer the eharmony questions some dude sent her. It's hellish. She wants me to compose the answers for her so she sounds witty and interesting. I think the point is to be yourself. This is lost on her.

We are embroiled in an argument about whether she would prefer to attend a) symphony/ballet/theatre b) a sporting event c) a movie in a theatre d) don't remember this one. The answer is c but she insists that it is a. As long as I have known her, she has been to the theatre once. That once was because I bought tickets to a play and made her come with me. She hated it and was disappointed that it wasn't a musical. I had never said it was a musical so I have no idea why she would have thought that it was. She just informed me that she has been to the ballet once and has never been to the symphony yet she insists that the answer should still be a. sigh

Soon, she will move the conversation into a discussion about why I am not on eharmony and how I should be because youdontwanttobealonefortherestofyourlife.
I'll take the risk. I'm not joining eharmony.

SunnyShine
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RainyBow note: OK, in a moment of boredom, I just went to the eharmony website. Here are two samples of what you can find there:

1. An actual advice column letter: Dear Dr. Warren, I am trying to be very open to the eHarmony process. But am struggling with not taking things too seriously and getting too attached to matches too quickly. Can you help?
This person should not be dating.

2. An article titled "5 Bad Habits that Tank First Dates." And here are the five bad habits:
- don't monopolize the conversation
- don't "over-share"
- don't try to be someone you're not
- don't ignore cues
- don't propose
Don't PROPOSE?! They actually need to give their members this advice for a first date?!

Run away, Sunny. Run far, far away.